When I was working as an attorney, I threw up almost every day before work. So many mornings, I would vomit in the sink and then look at myself in the mirror. I looked awful. I was miserable. That career path was slowly killing me.
That life was another lifetime ago. I closed the doors of my small law firm more than thirteen years ago.
These days, I wake up excited. I sing in the shower. I annoy my teenagers with my energy getting ready for the day, and I’m not even a morning person.
I have built a life I love, not through manifestation or magical thinking. I have built my current life through trial-and-error.
Happiness doesn’t come from vision boards or birthday wishes. Happiness comes from intentionally creating a life you love. It comes from taking responsibility for your life.
While I don’t believe in magical thinking or manifesting, I do believe our brains have far more power than we understand. But changing anything in your life requires you to take action, not just vibes. It requires you to take responsibility.
Bad things happen. Sometimes those things are your fault, and sometimes they’re not. Often, things happen to you because of complex systems you have no control over or voice in. However, if you want a life filled with joy, you have to take responsibility for all of it. What happens to you may not be your fault, but it is your responsibility.
The only alternative is to live life as a permanent victim of your circumstances.
Taking responsibility doesn’t mean trying to control everything. Much of what happens to you, maybe most of what happens, is beyond your control. If you want to be miserable, spend all of your time trying to control everything.
Taking responsibility means taking charge of solving your problems without worrying about who is to blame.
I have some mental health issues, including an anxiety disorder. It’s not my fault that I have an anxiety disorder, but it’s my responsibility to deal with it. Taking responsibility has meant working with therapists and doctors. It has meant developing coping mechanisms.
I take long daily walks because it helps regulate my nervous system, and it allows me to manage my mental health without medication, for now.
Last year, my main source of income, freelance writing, was under serious threat. In one week, I lost three clients to AI. My contacts for two of the clients told me AI was cheaper, and even though my work outperformed AI, the price difference was so steep that their bosses wanted to eliminate all freelancers and internal marketing team members.
In that case, the problem was partly my fault. I had gotten lazy and let those three clients believe that all I did was write for them, making me easy to replace.
I took responsibility and retooled that part of my business. Today, freelancing is more profitable than ever for me. I love working with my clients, and I’ve taken the time to make the way I freelance AI-proof.
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